Date:17th April 2013 at 3:05am
Written by:


The snow has pissed off and the weather is improving so it must mean one thing… Summer is nearly here.

The weather is usually crap over here so we only have one thing to look forward to, the transfer window! ANd with months to go until it opens it appears United are getting their feet wet early.

We’ve been trying to ship out De Gea, Nani is clearly on his way whilst both Hernandez and Rooney are set to depart but fear not! Garay, Varane, Cabaye, Matic and a down payment on Falcao means back to back titles are a cert!

The latest player to join the outbound list, according to The Telegraph, is Brazilian jester Anderson. The paper claims that instead of sh*tting on Fabregas, Anderson has simply been sh*t and Sir Alex is ready to cash in on him and use him as a makeweight (heh) in his efforts to bring in James Rodriguez (I thought that was Nani’s role… never mind).

Having joined United as a teen, Sir Alex has grown impatient waiting for him to blossom into Ronaldinho and will try and use him to lureĀ perennialĀ United target Rodriguez to Old Trafford.

Wether Porto will accept the podgy player as currency in United’s attempts to sign their Columbian attacker is unknown, they tend to demand stupid fees for their players (look how much they got out of us for Anderson in the first place!) but The Telegraph claim they are interested in bringing him back to Oporto so why not?

Dr. Teeth Glasses up Muppets